Let me start by saying that I’m not talking about my wife or I.
As far back as I can remember a member of my immediate family has been an alcoholic. When you’re a kid you don’t really know or understand then you hit your teen years and everything becomes a lot clearer.
The person I’m talking about is my mum. She may or may not like me writing this, to be honest she’ll never read it. The first thing to say about this is I don’t hate her and have never not loved her.
When I was younger I remember her enjoying a whiskey of an evening and wine with dinner but at that age I didn’t think anything of it. Even when she fell asleep on the sofa while watching tv again I thought nothing of it. It’s only now when I look back I understand she was drunk every evening.
She never got angry or shouted at me or my sister, she was more depressed. I don’t think she knew that as we got older it hurt us and we knew what was going on.
Due to her drinking problems she got into money troubles, lost her job and in the end had to move house due to her not being able to afford the mortgage. We tried getting her help but unless they want to be helped its near impossible.
We had moments where she’d stop drinking for a period of time then it would all come crumbling down. Sometimes it would go very wrong and she would fall over and end up in hospital.
There was an occasion where she was inside her house and was crashed out and I had to somehow climb on to a roof and through a small upstairs window.
There was a time when I thought I’d receive ‘the’ call but thankfully it never came.
Like all teenagers I went through a drinking faze but when I realised the problems at home I cut all drinking out and still now I very rarely drink and I know the problems and heartache it can cause.
I often feel so low that I can’t help her but if she doesn’t help herself there’s very little I can do.
